Monday, March 14, 2005

Fascinating! stories to Start Yer Monday Engines

Perv Busted After Willy Wash Incident


MARCH 11--Meet Robin McCain. The 26-year-old Wisconsin man was charged yesterday with indecent exposure for disrobing at laundromats, which he told cops was a "statement about personal freedom and not sexuality."

Oh, pshaw.. this happens at U Berkeley regularly -- the "freedom to dangle thingee" as a "personal expression". Kin Somebody Help this Maan?

AXE KILLING IN STREET


A man has been partially beheaded in a street in North London.

According to witnesses, a man wielding a type of medieval axe carried out the attack before being taken away by armed police.

That's it. Ban all medieval axes from Museums.

SGRENA: "I DEMAND ANSWERS FROM GOVT"


AGI) - Rome, March 11 - "I want the government to investigate on what happened", said Giuliana Sgrena, in an interview with Spanish TV broadcast by Sky TG24, her first ever since she was freed. "The government is looking at various accounts of the facts", she said,

Translation: None of my stories are matching with all available facts. Ergo, I'm going to pick on the government ("last refuge of the scoundrel").

Churchill warms to the hated dollar


Turns out that those trigger fingers Ward Churchill so warmly spoke of were his index finger and thumb - you know, the ones he can use to sign a generous CU buyout.

We misunderstood the context.

As we speak, I expect Churchill is busy adding an epilogue to his latest masterpiece: "On the Justice of Roosting Chickens: Reflections on the Consequences of U.S. Arrogance, or How I Learned To Love the Almighty Dollar."

Yeah.. lol. Like he really cared about anything BUT the almighty dollar..

ALLEGED MADAM'S 'FIRM' DEFENSE


March 14, 2005 -- The accused Upper East Side madam says she should get a slide — because big companies promote prostitution all the time and are never prosecuted.
By distributing adult films, corporations like DirecTV and Marriott essentially pay porn actors to have sex, no less so than a pimp or madam pays a prostitute to have sex with a john, the millionaire reasons.

If those companies aren't prosecuted, she says, neither should she be. The legal argument has been filed on behalf of Jenny Paulino, 44, arrested in December after a raid on her alleged American Beauties escort service and brothel at East 60th Street and Third Avenue

Hmm. Stretch this a bit, and you got Monica Lewinsky and that te-dum.

1 comment:

TheBitterAmerican said...

SGRENA "I DEMAND ANSWERS FROM GOV'T"

I've got an answer for her:

Ai, puttana, e' silenzioso!

She did something 'stunotte, now she's getting caught lying about it.