Grief has no "class" demarcations

I read this morning actress Shelley Long ("Cheers") was rushed to the hospital after a near-fatal overdose. She'd been increasingly depressed since her marriage of 22 years ended in 2003. Two days before Thanksgiving, I found myself, backbrain, remembering conservative columnist Linda Bowles of whom I was very fond. Her husband, Warren, died of brain cancer, and Linda was deeply affected. It was clear, throughout her columns, how very attached Linda was to Warren.

Sometimes, we can all lose our way, no matter the circumstances.

I do not know about the nature of Shelley Long's marriage; but I do know that Linda Bowles had had a difficult life; and she had found treasure and heaven with her beloved Warren. It must have seemed the good life was finally "here"; and then it appeared to end. I think of Shelley Long and she no doubts did experience the "good life" with fame and fortune and a successful career which catapulted her to great heights through "Cheers".

And now I think of the Democrats who are suicidal, depressed over John Kerry's losing the Presidential Election. Are there similarities between these three -- Long, Bowles, liberals?

Yes.

Sometimes, our delusions over what constitutes "the good life" get in the way of reality. There is a delusion of "heaven on earth" as wrought by the mortal efforts of mankind, individually or collectively. These delusions are *not* delusions as much as they are standards. They become delusions when we persist in upholding these delusions in the face of stark, problematic reality. The weight of "our" denial is what leads to the dark abyss of depression.

I am reminded of a scene from the flick "Parenthood". The wife character says she likes the "rollercoaster" of life. Yes, life has its up and downs, it always will. The persistence in believing that the "good life" remain as a constant throughout the remainder of one's life is the *delusion*. The good times come and go. The trick, and it really is no trick, is to remain faithful and diligent to and in one's work and plans, no matter how humble.

As George C Patton's character in the film "Patton" says: "Glory is only fleeting".

Very profound quote. And should be remembered at all times by all -- appreciate keenly the good times; stand ready to deal with the bad times when they come. Do not live in fear of the bad times -- they will come. The Ponce de Leon Fountain of Youth -- what's the mystery there? Remaining flexible and fluid with life. Recognize the glory moments and times when they happen, and cherish these. Store these memory photos away for when the downtimes come. Do not beat up on yourself; instead pull out those memory photos and know these good days will come again, and they will look different; and they will feel as grand as the earlier memory photos.

And lastly, remember -- those Glory moments and time come again, in their season.


Oh yes, I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Hope you did too!